How does counselling work?
If you are not sure how counselling works, or if you have had counselling before, you may find it helpful if I explain some things about how I work as not all counselling is the same.
My Approach:
This combines ideas from my psychodynamic and systemic training and experience. Let me explain what this means from your point of view:
What does psychodynamic mean?
The psychodynamic part of the work focuses on building a relationship of trust with the counsellor, through the counsellor's respect, non-judgemental approach and ethical position that puts your best interest above all else. This creates an environment where you feel safe and secure enough to talk, in your words, about what is going on, on the inside of you and your relationships.
For example, together we might explore your early family experiences which have influenced your internalised view of yourself as an individual or in relationships (hence the word psychodynamic, originating in psycho-analysis).
Examples of the things my clients have chosen to explore in this way are general feelings of insecurity, fear of intimacy and anxiety about self-perception in sexual relationships. But the choice is always yours.
So I guess you could say this is a way in which, together, we can talk about the feelings, fears and anxieties related to past experiences which affect you and your life today.
Through our conversations together, you will begin to make better sense of these feelings and experiences. You can choose to make positive changes in thinking and behaviour that will improve self esteem and confidence and lead to more fulfilling relationships in all areas of your life.
What does systemic mean?
The systemic part of the work means we talk about what is going on, on the outside of you and your relationships. For example, together we might have a conversation about your network (or system hence the word systemic) of significant relationships past and present.
Family stories, cultural and societal differences about gender roles, life stages and parenting, as well as alliances and disputes in families, are some of the things my clients have chosen to explore in this way.
Through this exploration, you become more aware of the diversity of beliefs and opinions that influence your life and behaviour. More awareness means you can make conscious choices about which of these ideas and belief systems are right for you.
Letting go of some unhelpful beliefs systems, as well as embracing some new ones, can lead to changes in behaviour that will have a positive impact on your life and your relationships.
Summary of counselling process:
So, each of us brings with us our individual stories, fears, hopes and dreams. Often these cannot be put into words, to others close to us or even to ourselves.
Together, we can work towards finding the words to bring your stories, fears, hopes and dreams to life. This process will improve your self awareness and understanding and help you to clarify what is really important to you. You can then start to identify your goals.
You can work through losses and let go of anxieties and fears that might be embedded in past experiences or be related to current concerns and stresses.
As your self awareness, understanding and communication skills grow, you will learn to avoid negative thought processes and communication patterns that have resulted in misunderstanding and disappointment in the past.
You will discover your own strategies for problem solving leading to greater self esteem and confidence. You will discover your own resources which will allow you to make positive and informed choices, relieving distress and anxiety and bringing some harmony back into your life.